


With Witness of the Sky

by beforenoon



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: F/F, don’t hate me :), i do redeem myself at the end, i’m personally sorry for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:29:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28880265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beforenoon/pseuds/beforenoon
Summary: Time is considered a luxury but with the silence of the night it leads to Toni facing some truths about herself that she is more than terrified to confront, luckily however, she isn’t entirely alone.
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 4
Kudos: 97





	With Witness of the Sky

**Author's Note:**

> Ignores episode 10 entirely

Toni sat on the beach, stars stretching above across an empty canvas of the night sky, her fingers engraved in the sand. The others had fallen asleep an hour or two ago, exhaustion of the day taking them over. 

Her eyes fixated on the invisible line between the water and sky. Her body relaxed, her breaths steady. 

It was quiet, apart from nature. The rustling of the distant trees and splash of the water keeping her company. 

She was used to nights like these, even long before the island. She was used to being alone, it wrapped a blanket around her, reassuring her until her brain started to ramble. 

The days flew by now, fast-paced, short, suffocating. Winter came and brought cold that stung their skin, that devoured, that tested them beyond their limits. Each girl held onto each other, terrified that letting go would mean losing oneself.

Trusting people was hard. Toni was not new to this concept. Trust meant knocking down walls, letting people in. It required putting down the sword that she had so tightly gripped to her side. She had stopped defending before, she had trusted before. She had told Martha her deepest secrets that came with regrets, allowed Regan access to her heart, followed and desperately tried to help her mother through hardships she could not even comprehend, gave her skin to a girl that makes her want to be better.

Control is a luxury that no human has to the max. It is a basic fact, one that Toni knew but did not yet want to accept. She realised holding onto another, showing them every part of her meant letting them in to paint themselves into her actions, thoughts, life. This, in experience, led to pain that Toni couldn't shake even through the days of numbness.

The island didn’t just test the girls’ physical capability but their mental ones too. It forced them to shred their skin then it mocked them until they became resilient enough to mutter a fuck you. 

Time fell away until Toni hadn’t got the faintest idea how long she had been staring out into the abyss. She lifted her hands out of the sand, it slipped off her like it wasn’t even there in the first place. 

A sudden thought crept up on her, one both happy and terrifying. Is this home? Her eyebrows knitted close together, her eyes squinting. 

A sweep of wind pushed past her face, the stars twinkling in front of her in duet with the waves. Her neck turned sideways, her eyes darting to each figure she could make out, counting silently. She then turned forward again, pulling her legs up to her chest and resting her head on her knees. Her face relaxed and the word ‘yes’ made it way to the tip of her tongue until it slipped from her mouth. 

The silent tap of footsteps made its way toward her. A hand placed itself on her back. Before Toni could meet the other girl’s eyes, the familiar comfort of loneliness slipped away and was instantly replaced by a warmth in her heart, one unknown and scary but equally inviting.

“What are you doing up at this strange hour?” Shelby whispered, keeping her voice low to avoid stirring from the other girls.

Toni watched her sit down beside her, her back slumping in a way that was surely to damage her almost perfect posture. She wanted to spit out a joke about that there was no way that either of them could possibly know the time but decided against it, staying silent, content with the quietness that spread between them. Shelby caught on, nodding lightly.

They shared a quick serene glance before taking each other’s lead to watch the night frozen in front of them. Before long, Toni’s hand fell to her side, itching forward towards Shelbys. Shelby smiled, intertwining her fingers with Toni’s, a slight hunger being fulfilled with the touch of the girl that she has fallen head over heels for. 

“It’s a beautiful night.” Shelby finally commented.

“Somehow, it looks the same and feels the same but it’s always a little-“

“Different.”

“Yeah.”

Toni ripped her gaze away from the scenery to Shelby. Her legs slipping away from her chest. Immediately, Toni started to study Shelby’s face, and she was sure she had never seen somebody so beautiful in her entire life. 

“Do you trust me?” The words fall from Toni’s mouth, surprising herself in the most unsurprising way ever.

Silence fell between them. Shelby became engrossed in thought, studying Toni in a way that started to make Toni uncomfortable but before Toni could disregard what she said Shelby spoke up.

Shelby spoke softly, not a dot of judgement in her tone, “Do you trust yourself?” 

“No.”

Shelby held Toni’s gaze, heart fluttering when tears started to drip down Toni’s face. 

“I want to,” Toni admitted, dragging the words up her throat, begging herself to let down defenses for just this moment, “I’m afraid of me, what it might mean to lose complete-“

She stopped. Eyes burning. Heart beating at what felt like a hundred miles per hour. Her mind was screaming at her, trying to convince her that being sensitive, shredding skin willingly will just cause much more pain, to her and the other person. She didn’t want to be a burden to Shelby that was no doubt but what she was realising that she also didn’t want Shelby to console her. Toni didn’t want sympathy or to be reassured. She didn’t want to feel like she mattered, she has long come to the conclusion that it was something that she did not deserve. 

“Control?” Shelby finished for her.

Toni could only nod. Shelby moved forward in a flash, taking the girl into her arms, holding her close to her shoulder, placing soft kisses on Toni’s head. 

Sobs rocked Toni’s body for minutes that fell into the feeling of hours. The years of grasping so tightly to whatever tiny piece of flickering control she had, becoming too much of a strain to hold onto. She felt anger boil inside her, wrapping itself around her bones that made a scream want to rip through her throat to her mouth.

With a soft murmur of, “I got you.” into Toni’s ear, her anger subsided and tiredness finally exposed itself. Her sobs turned into nothing but long breaths. Toni slightly rubbed her head against Shelby’s shoulder.

A tint of embarrassment showed itself on Toni’s cheeks. 

“God I’m a selfish bitch.” She croaked out, an awkward laugh escaping her.

Shelby moved slightly backwards, titling Toni’s head up from under her chin so she could see her properly. Shelby shook her head to show denial in what Toni had just said. 

“I do trust you, to answer your earlier question, I trust you more than I have ever trusted anybody,” Shelby allowed Toni to look deeply into her eyes before her lips tucked uncontrollably upwards, “I love you and someday I hope you can love and trust yourself the way I do.”

Toni looked at her in awe before wasting no time placing her lips on Shelbys. 

A few minutes later, Shelby laid down inviting Toni to cuddle into her side. Their bodies fitting perfectly against each other like some cliché. 

“I love you too.” Toni muttered, fighting off sleep for a moment more.

“What?” Shelby questioned, genuinely caught off guard.

“Don’t think you can simply gloss over the fact that you just said I love you,” Toni chuckled, “I do though, I love you too.”

A smile spread across both of their lips, the simple three little words causing joy that could only be achieved so rarely across a lifetime. 

Sleep finally took over Toni, the cold of the soft breeze unmatched against Shelby’s warm skin. She fell into a slumber with the soft thumping of Shelby’s heart, the rustling of the trees and the overlapping of the waves.


End file.
